


Greek Tragedy

by coshaymien



Series: Smosh Writing Week 2019 [5]
Category: Smosh
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, Alternate Universe - Future, Dancing, Dancing plague, Doomsday, Feelings Realization, Gen, Multi, One Shot, Slow Dancing, SmoshWritingWeek2019, SmoshWritingWeek2019 - Day 5, Twelve Gods of Olympus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 14:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19994008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coshaymien/pseuds/coshaymien
Summary: The beings, later largely referred as gods, or olympians, always existed on Earth - before there was any other intelligent life form on the planet. They just helped creating the world around them, mostly not interfering to the matters of the earthlings. That was until the Greeks came around. Taking human forms, they settled on Mount Olympus and made their presence known by taking care of various matters of earthly life. The Olympians made themselves known two more times in the entirety of existence. Once, they created an Internet phenomenon, known as Smosh. They reunited roughly a millennium later, when they decided they had enough.





	Greek Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring Boze as Hestia, Damien Haas as Hephaestus, Shayne Topp as Hermes, Olivia Sui as Hera, Courtney Miller as Aphrodite, Noah Grossman as Zeus, Keith Leak, Jr. as Poseidon, Lasercorn as Dionysus, Joshua Ovenshire as Hades, Wes Johnson as Ares, Mari Takahashi as Artemis and Ian Hecox as Apollo.

**i.** πρόλογος ( _prólogos_ ) - prologue

**i.i.** ἀγάπη ( _agápē_ ) - love of god for man or love of man for god; charity

The beings, later largely referred as gods, or olympians, always existed on Earth - before there was any other intelligent life form on the planet. They just helped creating the world around them, mostly not interfering to the matters of the earthlings. That was until the Greeks came around.

Nobody knew why, but they all had a particular liking to this group and millennia of waiting for something interesting to happen was finally getting to them. Taking human forms, they settled on Mount Olympus and made their presence known by taking care of various matters of earthly life: some looking over crops, others presiding over seas, while some just wanted to make sure they supported marriage. That was their main power - to inspire and to blend in. That was when they got their names that stuck and the myths that prevailed over the ages. But that’s all they were - myths. Humans made stories that made sense to them, made them all related in some way, even though they weren’t. It was laughable, but also admirable - that was precisely why they gave humans the ability to create in the first place.

The Olympians made themselves known two more times in the entirety of existence. Once, they created an Internet phenomenon, known as Smosh; they had a fondness for theatre, after all that life in Greece. They reunited roughly a millennium later, when they decided they had enough.

**ii.** φιλία ( _philía_ ) - affectionate regard, friendship between family, and community; brotherly love

Hestia has been planning this for a long, long time. She was always the domestic one of the group, and once the idea of a world-ending party was brought up, she volunteered to host it herself. Not that anyone else would jump at that chance, anyway. That’s why she was on the Earth for a good while, planning everything. It was not that difficult to book herself a fantastic mansion with a spectacular view, she was a god, after all. But she wanted to make it perfect, she cared about all of them and she wanted them all to have a good, last time together. She was sure that the feeling was mutual, even though they never were the ones to say that out loud. Yeah, gods were not capable of love, but they definitely felt something, maybe something even more profound than that, that humans didn’t have a name for - of course. They didn’t know what that felt like.

The house was half a supermarket, half an entertainment/hangout zone. So, basically a mall, except that you don’t have to pay for anything and it’s simultaneously incredulously more luxurious and shittier at the same time.They all had some human indulgences and Hestia was prepared for any sort of craving and desire.

She was putting the final touches while listening to her own guilty pleasure - the metal band she loved while being Boze, when the bell rang, indicating that the first guests showed up. With a thought, the speakers started playing a recording of Beethoven, which felt more appropriate for the occasion, she just didn’t like it that much herself. Making her way down the stairs, she caught her reflection on the glassy walls. Damn, she looked good. Sure, her legs were still short, but they were extended by a couple inches of a heel of a combat boot. She wasn’t even sure that everyone else would show up as Smosh, too, but she was too preoccupied with the whole party thing that she didn’t have the time to think of something new. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“Hephaestus, Hermes,” she greeted, having opened the door - she might have just sent a thought for them to come in, as she didn’t lock the door. But she loved being a good host, and talking. Talking was nice, too. She needn’t have worried, they looked familiar. “Good to see you two,” she grinned, taking a better look at them - dark-maned Hephaestus, taller, yet less buff than Hermes next to him, with the sandy hairdo on his head, swept in too familiar fashion of Shayne's. It looked like the last millennium didn’t even happen at all - it was like one of those Los Angeles parties they had to attend to for work. In this case, thankfully, they won’t be shoved to a corner, not too confident in approaching others. Ridiculous that gods were too shy to approach humans, the less superior race, but then again, sometimes it was more of a hassle than anything fun, so they kept to themselves.

“You look great, Hestia,” Hephaestus gifted her a compliment and took her hand swirling her around, the hem of her dress made a lacy, dark circle. “I almost called you Boze, you know,” that made her giggle.

“Means that I still look young enough, don’t I?” she winked. “I can’t believe that the triple-H gang is back together again,” she couldn’t help but smile.

“Are we the first ones here?” Hermes asked, coming in, after being gestured to, looking around, trying to grasp the magnitude of the place, she could tell. “Don’t tell Hera that, though,” he added with a laugh.

“Dude, I’m pretty sure she knows already. It would be weird if she didn’t hear us thinking about it at some point or another,” Hestia shrugged. “Do you want me to take your coat, Heph?”

“No, I’m good. It’s _fayshun_ ,” he stuck out his tongue out of his lips a little.

“Okay, cool. Anyway, feel free to do anything to your heart’s content, maybe just don’t start trashing the place before everyone else shows up yet. It’s the end of the world, boys,” Hestia grinned.

**iii.** στοργή ( _storgē_ ) - love, affection, especially of parents and children

Hera showed up with Aphrodite, dashing in her sultry red dress, whose hem trailed on the ground, even with the complimenting stilettos - _typical Aphro,_ she thought. The girl next to her thus looked even shorter than usual, but she had that aura around her. The Greeks made up the fact that she and Zeus were the queen and king of the gods, but Hera surely deserved the title, as she was always looking vaguely threatening. 

Zeus, on the other hand, was a different story. And speak of the devil - here he is, with Poseidon on his side; a lanky, half-Jewish kid that still doesn’t know how to handle his facial hair, rather focusing on those on top of his head, now half of it dyed bright orange, like all those years ago. Dress shirt, vertically striped made the boy look even taller than he was, but the Poseidon’s wide-brimmed hat made them equal in height. Was everyone out here to point out how small and unintimidating her human form was? Were they doing this on purpose?

And then the Smosh Games gang barged in, without so much as a doorbell or a knock. They weren’t that stealthy either, as Hestia could hear them for few minutes before they all showed at the massive hall as everyone else was getting their favorite refreshments.

“I’m telling you, you didn’t need to bring wine!! Hestia, I’m sure, has loads already,” it was a familiar voice, but Hestia didn’t expect it. She didn’t realize the invitations were extended to the gods of the underworld.

“I know my wine, Hades, leave me alone! If nobody else wants the fucking best bottle in the world, who cares, I’ll down it myself,” Dionysus defeneded himself, fiery as always, especially when it came to Mr. Platinum himself. Hestia remembered being sceptical of his fashion choices, and this time was no different, but she couldn’t argue that his thin orange hair and blood-splattered suit was not telling of his personality, even if she saw that outfit perhaps hundreds of times already.

Ares and Artemis were quick to step in and scold them, directing them to say hi to everyone and greeted Hestia themselves.

“Not very typical of you guys to be this civil,” she remarked.

“Well, we figured there’s no need to start a war when the world is already about to end,” Ares remarked, some of the last sun rays reflecting on his silver hair.

“And even if that would be fun, I think we’ve already had enough over the years,” Artemis added, her hair grown out and making an ombre with the purple ends. “And you know how those two can be,” she added.

‘Yeah, I didn’t realize Hermes was invited.”

“Oh, it was his idea! We were kind of glad that he had a good idea for once in his lifetime, even if it was to end it,” Artemis giggled and excused herself to hunt of Dionysus’ wine before it was gone.

“Is that everybody, Hes?” Ares asked, looking over everybody chit-chatting.

“Nope, Apollo’s late,” she shook her head. She wanted to start the party before the sundown. It was probably not that bad, as Apollo will inevitably bring some light into the room, but still. She hated when it didn’t happen according to plan.

“Don’t worry, he’ll show up,” Ares assured her and she shook her head.

“I’m not worrying about it. I just wanted everyone to be on time.”

“Just enjoy yourself. It’ll be over before you know it, Hes,” he smiled apologetically. It was nice being all together again, even if Apollo was late. She wouldn’t say she was having second thoughts about the whole ordeal, but she surely wanted it to last longer than initially planned. She just wanted to have Apollo around, too.

**iv.** ϕιλαυτία ( _philautía_ ) - self-love and arising from it; love between family, between friends, as well as between lovers, a desire or enjoyment of an activity

Apollo showed up, apologetic, in a grey dress suit and black turtleneck underneath it that complimented his thick-rimmed glasses and a stubble well, yet he brought last light of the day to the room. The last ever day. _Want a drink?_ Hestia was quick to suggest before so she wouldn’t start nagging him.

As the sun went down, the lights went on. The purples and blues made the house look like a nightclub and the Olympians were quick to loosen up, to start dancing and to abuse the stereo sound system, but she didn’t mind. They were their favorite tunes, including some inside jokes, even parodies from their YouTube days, that everybody, including herself, seemed to know the lyrics of and wanted to make that known, shouting them intensively and aggressively, chins up to the ceiling. Eventually, the Pokémon theme song came up, and after they were done screaming their voices out, Hermes screamed _Where’s Anthony?_ , which shouldn’t have surprised her. Hermes always had a prowess in his voice and he surely used it and abused it. She noticed Apollo looking a little upset as everyone else shared a laugh, so she swallowed the last sip of her cocktail, putting it on a random shelf nearby and made her way to him.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I just, you know, miss him,” Apollo shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. As if missing a mortal for more than a thousand years was nothing to be concerned about. She felt sorry for him, but she was also a little envious. She never felt such a connection that the two clearly shared.

“I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but for what it’s worth, he misses you too, Apollo. Or he rather misses Ian, but I don’t think there was ever much of a difference?” Hades came from behind, which made Hestia jump a little. Fucking Hades.

“Thanks, Hades, it means a lot. I hope he’s doing okay.”

“He was the last time I checked,” he assured nodding. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to sing some Britney,” and he vanished into the crowd. Someone somewhere found a microphone they were toying with now, one or a couple of them opting to do karaoke, but it would usually end up being a somewhat religious chanting from everyone.

“Yeah, you’re excused,” Hestia said under her breath, pouting.

“Well, that’s Hades for you,” Apollo laughed, nervously. “I’m sorry I was late, I know you wanted this to go down perfectly, as you planned… for how long?”

“It’s fine, seriously. It can’t be perfect with this folk anyway,” she shook her head. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way, so it’s perfect in a way,” she smiled, looking at her tride, longingly, with some sense of pride about it. 

“As you say, Hes,” Apollo digressed.

**v.** ἔρως ( _érōs_ ) - love, mostly of the sexual passion

_This is nice_ , she heard Aphrodite think, her palms resting on Hermes’ shoulders, slow dancing. They were all tired, almost ready to vanish from existence, destroying the world behind them, too, and after a long while they settled into pairs, just dancing and enjoying each other’s company. The ones who were probably meant to be with, long ago. If only they didn’t think too high of themselves for all these years, maybe they would be partying without intent to doom the whole world.

But it did feel nice. Firstly to see all her favorite beings being so content and happy with who they were and who they were with, even if they all were a little worn out. Starting with Aphro and Hermes, she then saw Apollo and Dionysus, pulling off the most ridiculous moves that were extremely out of sync of the melody, suspecting they were singing something entirely different telepathically, then Artemis and Hades, keeping the distance between themselves, although they didn’t fool anybody with this, and Hestia shot off a disapproving look to her and smiled, when she finally, a little reluctantily, rested her head on his shoulder. Then there was Poseidon and Zeus, taking a note from the Iancorn’s book, and doing worms and cartwheels all over the dancefloor, trying to outdo each other; and the unlikely pair of Ares and Hera, who were still a little awkward around each other, but Hestia felt the warmth between them and thought they looked cute.

Then she lifted her eyes to Hephaestus whose hands were a little rough against her skin, but she didn’t care, as long as his coat was nowhere in her peripheral. She looked up to his eyes and smiled at him, and he returned a smile back at her.

“I’m glad you came,” she said, in a whisper. She could say that about everyone, even Apollo and blind-as-a-mole Hades, but she meant it in a singular meaning of the word.

“I’m glad I came, too,” he replied, looking at her glancing from head to toe in an admiration that only Hephaestus cared to show to her.

 _Yeah, this is nice_ , she agreed, and she was sure he heard that, too.


End file.
